Positive Reviews
- TheOneLiner.com Review of Commando
- Ruthless Reviews (80s Action Guide): Commando
- Fast-Rewind.com Review: Commando
- BBC Films Review: Commando
- Reel Film Reviews: Commando
- DVD Verdict Review: Commando
- DVD.net.au Review: Commando
- Eccentric-Cinema Review: Commando
Negative Reviews
Our favorite review from 
Hans
Berlin, Germany
Date: 8 August 2002
Summary: Man’s most perfect work of Art
No better movie was ever made, no better movie will ever be made. Filmmakers should not aspire to better it; instead let them be inspired by it. I realize that more comments on ‘Commando’ start out by praising it, but then phrases like ‘guilty pleasure’ and ‘leave your brain at the door’ start creeping in. As if watching this miracle on your TV-screen is comparable to watching old episodes of ‘The A-Team’ or listening to an El DeBarge song.
This attitude would be perfectly appropriate watching, say, the old ‘Star Wars’-trilogy; on the other hand the religious adoration and serious contemplation with which these (highly entertaining) children’s fairytales are often regarded, would be much more deserved by ‘Commando’.
(Obviously, people who think that ‘Commando’ is not even a good movie can be considered Philistines, and are beneath notice. They can continue wasting their lives watching ‘La vita รจ bella’ or such crap for all I care.)
On then to the movie at hand: The story tells us about John Matrix (perfectly embodied by Arnold Schwarzenegger), an ex-Special Forces colonel, taking up arms against rogue Valverdian general Arius, and his entire army. Arius is plotting to overthrow Val Verde’s legitimate president and take control of the country himself. For this he needs the president killed by the very man who helped the man become head of state: John Matrix. To ensure that Matrix will do as he says, he has his daughter kidnapped by one of Matrix’ former team members, Bennett (who holds a grudge against our hero). Bennett also manages to capture Matrix, who is brought before Arius and put before the dilemma: help Arius by killing the Valverdian president, or his daughter will die. Matrix has no choice but to let himself be put on the plane to Valverde, but he knows that Arius will kill his daughter whether he does wat he’s told or not. He kills his guard on the plane and gets off it during take-off. Matrix now has a mission: find his daughter and free her before the plane lands in Valverde and Arius learns that Matrix has betrayed him.
What follows is an exhilarating adventure, in which Matrix has to use every one of his considerable fighting skills to eliminate Bennett’s elite soldiers, Sully and Cook, find out where Arius is keeping his daughter, and get there. He is assisted by air-hostess Cindy, who gets involved in this against her will, but decides to help Matrix when she learns of the kidnapping. The total carnage that Matrix causes once he gets to the island where Arius is hiding is without equal – he just singlehandedly slaughters the entire army. And his titanic mano a mano with Bennett brings to mind the great duels of mythology, between Achilles and Hector, Arthur and Mordred, or Siegfried and the dragon. It leaves you completely overwhelmed.
The acting in ‘Commando’ is spot-on: Arnie is absolutely convincing as the unstoppable one-man army Matrix, Vernon Wells is sly and depraved as Bennett, Dan Hedaya as Arius conveys ruthless authority, and Rae Dawn Chong as Cindy is precisely comical enough. And who could forget the cold menace in the eyes of Cook (Bill Duke) and the ferret-like energy and defiance displayed by Sully (David Patrick Kelly)? Jenny Matrix (Alyssa Milano) already shows evidence of the iron will that drives her father.
The timing, the music, the way the movie shows off Arnie’s incredible physique (which affects you subliminally), the violence, and of course the oneliners, it’s all PERFECT!
I have seen, heard and read other examples of high western culture (Michelangelo’s ‘David’, Mozart’s ‘Le Nozze di Figaro’, Dante’s ‘Divina Commedia’ – other works of art that have at one time been qualified as the pinnacle of human artistic achievement), but nothing comes close to ‘Commando’. It’s as simple as that.
Just writing down quotes like “Scared, mother******? You better be, ’cause this Green Beret’s gonna kick your big ass”-”I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now I’m VERY HUNGRY!” makes my heart beat faster. You won’t find anything like this in Cervantes, I’ll tell you that.
To conclude, I can’t say I’m surprised that ‘Commando’ has not received the acclaim it deserves. Idiocy and pretence rule the world these days: just look at all the fuss that’s made about this ‘Lord of the Rings’-b******t… So you see, I’m not trying to convert anybody. It’s just that the truth has to be said once in a while.
